I have not done a study on pride. There is no excuse for that. I also have not completed my 30 Day Shred workout every day this week as I had planned. Again, no excuses. But what I really wanted to talk about was how come when I’m so close to graduation that I have lost all steam. Maybe this is the time that I am learning to persevere. It’s funny because I thought I was learning to see a goal to the end but I had never thought about it as perseverance… strange.
Reminds me of something in the Bible (yes, I’m kind of preachy; But, just so you know, this is how I talk to myself): Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it (1 Corinthians 9:24-25). While this verse is talking about obtaining the prize of heaven, I am attempting to think of it as attaining the prize of graduation. The prize that I am going for is definitely not going to get me any “kudos” in heaven except that God will say to me, “You are doing what I’ve called you to do.” And, for me, that is really good. I feel that for a lot of my life I was wondering what I was supposed to do and I could never put a hand on it. I was in college and had no major. I dropped out and that’s when I realized what I should’ve been going to college for (story of my life, by the way). So, that’s how I know that I am on the path to my destiny (that sounds so intense). All I have to do now is manage not to screw this up.
It doesn’t seem to make sense but this thing that I am going through is bigger than just graduation. It is culminating all of my past shortcomings and showing myself what I am actually made of. If I can accomplish this one thing, there is not limit that I cannot overcome. Isn’t most people’s biggest obstacle the things that we tell ourselves? Because, for me, it doesn’t really matter how much someone tells me that I am smart, capable strong… if I don’t believe it in my head (or at least in my heart), I’m gonna be back to square one. This is something that I know about myself. So, for me, I’m entering into a new season where I will not excuse my shortcomings and failures. I will go for it straight on. And if I fail at least I’ll be able to say that I tried.
Lord, help me to run in such a way that I will be able to attain the goal of college graduation and physical fitness. I need the encouragement that only You can give me. You know the way that I think. I need help in overcoming myself. I cannot fail with You on my side, my front and my back holding my hand every single step of the way. If I ever needed You, Lord, it’s right now.