I was reading through my old blog posts- you know, to see if I’ve made any sort of progress in this thing called life- and I noticed that I AM making progress. I will not go out on a limb and say that it’s a significant difference but it’s progress just the same. Forward motion. To me, this means that although I’m not where I think I should be I’m also not where I was 12 months ago.
While living out the mundane, day-to-day stuff it is very easy to lose track of daily progress. The times that I held my tongue when someone said something that was super freaking annoying… and dumb. The times that I killed someone with kindness instead of killing them with pointed words. The times when I when I did the dishes for Wes even though I freaking hate washing the dishes. The times when I went to help someone move even though I didn’t have the time and I certainly didn’t want to be bothered. I have demonstrated maturity- even though I am now getting my reward since I’m patting myself on the back… see, I’ve still got work to do (God’s got His work cut out for Him).
The point of the matter is this: I am pretty hard on myself. I constantly feel that I can be doing more. That the effort that I give isn’t good enough. That I’m dealing with the same problems/ struggles/ issues on a daily basis and making little (if any) leeway in the right direction… towards Heaven. I don’t want to be satisfied with mediocrity but I also want to give myself a little bit of grace. Achieving this balance is.not.easy. But, it’s nice to know that I’m going in a forward motion. Progress is progress no matter how small or how insignificant.