13.1 miles is… a whole heck of a lot of miles. I have planned for this race since January but when I said that I was going to do it December seemed so, so far away. It was easy to get off track in my running plan and in my eating habits. But, ultimately, the day that I have been planning for all of these months is finally here.
I’m a little embarrassed to say that I
am was nervous. Like, I literally made myself sick with worry. Not the kind of worry that is in the forefront of the mind so it caught me a little off guard when I started to feel nauseous… and off to the bathroom I went. Throwing up. Crazy. I know that’s a little too much information but it’s true. I. was. sick.
Thankfully, I have some pretty good friends (sister-friends) who told me that I was probably just nervous. To be honest, the thought of nervousness never crossed my mind. I didn’t really know that a person could make themselves physically ill with worry. Well, it’s never happened to me before. I have been in some pretty stressful situations: asking my husband (before he was my husband, of course) out on our first time to hang out, marriage, college graduation, presenting my graduate capstone project in front of academics for the University of Arizona, teaching (or attempting to teach) classes filled with kids who are just waiting for me to screw something up, etc. THESE are stressful situations and I never made myself sick in preparation for these things.
But this 13.1 miles about did me in. Why? It’s the farthest distance that I have EVER run. I have been waiting for this moment all year long. I really don’t want to let myself down. And since running is new to me I am wondering how my body will handle it. Will it hate me? Will I be okay?
But the point of the matter is, I’ve got to do this. I’ve got to take this chance because that’s the type of person I am. I decide that I want to do something and then I set about achieving that goal. That’s why I went back to college at 25. That’s why I started exercising two years ago. That’s why I finished my graduate program in less time than my college advisors said it could be done. It’s who I am.
And, tomorrow, I will prove to myself that I can do this. I am more than a conqueror (see Romans 8:37).
I can do this. I will do this.