Happy 20th week of gestation! We’re just that much closer to meeting you! It’s scary and exciting at the same time that we’re more than halfway there. You’re the game changer. That may seem like a lot of pressure but it’s really not. I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life but it turns out that there are other plans…better plans. Plans that I couldn’t have imagined six months ago even!
I never thought that I was cut out for motherhood even though I’m bossy and I guess in some ways, nurturing. The thought of having my own children was always a scary idea for me. The way that I dealt with this fear in the past was to believe that it was impossible for me to mother children. I fostered this idea for so long time, I decided that I “didn’t want” children and if I did become a mother, it would be by way of adoption. Easy fix. No disappointment.
You, my child, have changed that. Your pending arrival is turning me into a woman that I never thought I’d be. I’m grateful. I’ll spend the rest of my days being the best mommy to you that I can possibly be. The scary part is I have no idea what that will look like. How life will be modified. How behaviors will be adapted. It will not be easy but it will be worth it… for you, BB.