The elusive idea of adulthood.

What exactly makes someone become a grown up?  Is it turning a certain age?  Having kids?  Graduation from college or high school?  Moving out on your own?  Or is it when a person, “start[s] cleaning the house every day and paying [their} bills on time and replying to emails before [their] inbox reaches quadruple digits (Allie Brosh. “This is Why I’ll Never be an Adult.” 29 May 2014)?




I’ve been thinking about this idea for a long time and I don’t know that I’ve figured out the answer (that’s a great reason to write about it, right?)  But recently, Wes and I purchased a washer and dryer and that got me to wondering, “Am I finally an adult?”

I remember when I turned 25.  I had a mid life crisis that year.  I know it’s a little early to have the midlife crisis but it felt really real at the time.  I looked at my life and seriously questioned where I was going.  Who was I trying to impress?  Who was I hanging out with?  Were said people adding value to my life and to my character?  That’s when I decided to make a change.  I went back to college that year.  Not to earn my master’s degree but to FINALLY earn my bachelor’s degree.

I used to think that 25 year olds had all of their stuff together.  What was that stuff?  I have no idea.  I guess “stuff” would be they could pay all of their bills, they didn’t live with their parents, they had a vehicle.  They most certainly already had their college degrees by then!

I remember posing this question to some of my high schoolers as a journal question this past school year.  One of the answers really stood out to me:

when are you an adult


“You never know when you’re ready for the real world.  It just sorta hits you in the face whenever it wants to.”

At 25, I decided that I no longer wanted to waste my life chasing after things that weren’t important.  Yes, I was married by then- and some people would argue that being married made me an adult- but I was a selfish wife.  I was more concerned about what I could get from Wes than about what I could give to Wes.  Marriage is supposed to go both ways, right?  I decided that I would take some little steps to be the best wife to Wes that I could possibly be.  Here we are, six years later, and I have made major steps to becoming the wife that I am supposed to be. I think that is a step towards adulthood.

One of the reasons why I don’t really want to be an adult is because it seems that grown ups don’t really have any fun.  They’re so worried about the daily things in life that they forget the point of all of that working.  All of that time spent away from the one place that they want to be: home.  I don’t want to be a grownup because I don’t want to be so caught up in life that I forget about the living.

So, no, I’m not an adult…and come to think of it- I don’t ever want to become one.





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