A lot of people have been telling me recently that I inspire them to be fit.
“If [Sam] can do it, I can do it.”
“I can’t believe you’re still running [while pregnant]!”
“Seeing your posts reminds me that healthiness and activity are a part of a lifestyle… thank you for leading by example.”
These are such huge compliments. Like, really though, I don’t “deserve” it. I’m not saying I don’t deserve the compliment because I have some sort of reverse pride issue. I’m saying this because I really don’t deserve it. Let me explain:
I’ve been doing this exercise thing for a while now. At first, I wanted to lose weight (see my post about that here) and then -when I wasn’t losing weight no matter how much I worked out- I changed my mind about my motivation (I posted about that here). I decided that I wanted to see if I could stay committed to something even when I don’t see results. I wanted to break this habit of quitting things when they weren’t going my way.
But now that I’m pregnant (30 weeks, 3 days as of today) my motivation for working out is kind of selfish: I don’t want to be fat. Yep, you read that right. I don’t want to be fat. I run; I eat healthfully (most of the time); I do yoga; I don’t indulge every time I get a whim. All for one reason: VANITY. It snuck up on me out of nowhere. I’m pretty sure vanity has been in mind heart for some time now but I’m only just now being honest enough (with myself and with you all) to talk about it.
Yes, there are articles about the benefits of exercise while pregnant. And then there are all those birth analogies about birth being a marathon- I wonder why “they” never compare birth to a HALF MARATHON??? I know what that actually feels like. But, basically- besides the fact that I need to exercise for my sanity- many days, I only exercise because I don’t want to be fat. It’s so freeing to admit that.
So, don’t get me wrong, I love the compliments but I just want you all to know that you need not look up to me. I’m vain.