Honestly. 

About one year ago, I wrote a blog post called “Don’t look up to me.” In it I outlined my reasons for wanting to workout during my pregnancy. Well, here are some thoughts a year later…

Honestly, I am disappointed in myself. I tried so hard to not gain weight when I was pregnant so that I could “bounce back” quickly after baby was born. I succeeded on one front but failed on another.

Honestly, I am usually pretty good about not allowing the scale to dictate the way I feel about my progress. But, honestly, that number has slowly crept up and up and up since Laila Grace’s birth.

Honestly, I had a heck of a time those first four months of Laila Grace’a life. I mean, all new mamas and daddies face some sort of struggle (I imagine).  I was so caught up in doing what I needed to take care of her that I forgot to take care of myself. I’m reaping the seed that I sowed during those months. Twenty plus pounds of “seed.”

Honestly, I know that I feel and LOOK my best when I stick to a Paleo template. But, honestly, my newest favorite hobby is baking (and eating!) cookies. I’m gonna toot my own horn here and tell you that I’m getting good at baking chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal raisin cookies. I haven’t messed up a batch of cookies in quite some time!

Honestly, I know I feel my best when I exercise. This is less of a cosmetic “feel” and more of an all around “feel.”

Honestly, I really thought that I’d be back to wearing my old clothes by now.  I thought I’d be wearing them in March!

Honestly, I still wear maternity jeans.

Honestly, I shouldn’t care about the extra fluff that I’m lugging around but now that Laila Grace and I seem to have a handle on breastfeeding, the fluff has crept back to the forefront of my mind.

Honestly, I’m more than a little frustrated with myself.

I’m frustrated because I care about my weight even though I realize it’s not that important in the grand scheme of things.  I’m frustrated because I’m lacking motivation to do much about (although I’ve been making a pretty consistent effort these last couple of months).  I’m frustrated because breastfeeding isn’t making the fluffiness magically disappear.

And, honestly,  I’m frustrated that I’m frustrated. 

sam

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3 thoughts on “Honestly. 

  1. I know you’re frustrated with you (physically and mentally a little?), but honestly, you’re still one of my fitness inspirations. I see you doing your salutations and wogging/running on RunKeeper even if you don’t feel like it and that motivates me. Not in a competitive type of way, but it opens my eyes to see that I have no excuse. We make the time to do the things we need/want to do and seeing your log in those exercises inspires me. So keep at it. You’re doing great. (even if you don’t think you are.) Something > nothing right?

    love yah, sister-friend.

    P.S. – don’t hate on the baking! if it makes/keeps you happy, then keep doing it! 🙂

    • Oh man. Thank you for helping me see without the self-criticism. And, baking is the best thing ever! Especially when I’m not messing stuff up. Haha!

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